One of the things I love most about Michael is his sense of humor. It was both entertaining and infuriating. You see Michael was the fun one in our marriage and I was the serious one. I don’t know if all marriages have a fun one and a serious one, but I must say that I look at lots of couples and see a fun one and a serious one. Now this doesn’t mean that the serious one is never any fun or that the fun one can never be serious. But, in general, one person is quicker to be fun and spontaneous while the other tends to plan and be responsible (sometimes translated the “wet blanket” or “party poop-er”). Together we balanced each other well. He kept us reaching for the moon while I kept our feet on the ground.
Even in our children you can see it – of the three of them, two tend to be more serious like me, while one is definitely the fun soul like Michael. (I won’t name names, but if you know them you know exactly who’s who.) Even a friend recently commented to one of my kids, “Yeah, you’re pretty serious.” Interesting that others see it as well. Interesting because you relate to people differently when you’re the serious one or the fun one.
Sometimes it’s easier to relate to the serious one because they’re more like you are. You’re easily on the same page about so many things. But the fun one brings so much adventure to life, which challenges me to get out of my comfort zone and do things that I’ve dreamed of but am not sure I’ll ever really go for. But the fun one can also really make you crazy because they’re always pushing you to do things and dream big, when what you really want is to be safe in your own little personally-created world.
I miss the fun one. I miss the spontaneity that drove me crazy and the adventures that gave me a nervousness in my stomach. It makes me want to be more spontaneous to try to recapture some of that fun. It makes me want to take more chances (though the serious one inside me keeps saying “What if you fail? What if someone sees you make a fool of yourself?”) It makes me want to try new things outside of my comfort zone (though my stomach is nervous just thinking about it).
So as I say good-bye to 2014 (which I am both wanting to do and hating at the same time) I want to be more of a fun soul. I can’t really quit being the serious one because that’s who I am, and this world needs some serious folks to be sure that bills get paid and people show up on time to places they need to be. But I hope to take a little of Michael’s fun-ness with me and let it more freely lead me through whatever 2015 has in store. And as I look at what is already on my calendar for 2015, there are lots of adventures ahead – some of which I am comfortable with and some, not so much.
Stay tuned for where I go from here in 2015. It may raise a few eyebrows. Thanks for reading along.