Sue Monk Kidd wrote The Invention of Wings. There is a mother and daughter seamstress duo among the slaves of a well to do Charleston family. The daughter was about 19 when her mother ran into some trouble when she wouldn’t step off the sidewalk in deference to a white woman. Two men accosted her after the incident and hauled her off to the punishment building. Apparently she somehow got free and escaped. The daughter was devastated that her mother was missing.

She (the daughter’s mistress) said, “She’ll come back.” I (the slave daughter) said those words all night long. I didn’t know how to be in the world without her.
…
Mama was gone, sure as I’m sittin’ here and I couldn’t do a thing but walk the yard tryin’ to siphon my sorrow. The sorry truth is you can walk your feet to blisters, walk till kingdom-com, and you never will outpace your grief. Come December I stopped all that. I halted in my track by the woodpile … and I said out loud, “Damn you for saving yourself! How come you left me with nothin’ but to love you and hate you and that’s gonna kill me and you know it is. ” Then I turned around, went back to the cellar room and picked up the sewing. Don’t think she wasn’t in every stich I worked. She was in the wind and the rain and the creaking from the rocker. She sat on the wall with the birds and stared at me. When darkness fell, she fell with it.

These aren’t the things people say to you, but they may be some of the words that capture some of what you feel. I prayed for you when I heard those words on my audio book tonight. I’ve contemplated going on without my Mike on more than one occasion when he was extremely ill. I don’t know how I would do it. Indeed, I wouldn’t know how to be in the world without him.

All I can do is pray you are learning how, and that there is a grace in your sorrow somewhere, somehow. All my love to you. And prayers for strength and courage each day.

I’ve never lived on Moss lane – but I’d love to do lunch or dinner anytime!

Love you Sister in Christ!

I’m in for lunch!