I remember so often when Michael was in the hospital those many times.  I would be going back and forth to the hospital each day.  And each night I would return home to an empty house.  I admit that coming home at night to an empty house and knowing that I would be there all night by myself would creep me out some.  One of the things I feared most was that I would come home to live scared in my house after Michael was gone.  Several times I cried out to God about how I wasn’t going to be able sleep at night.

Amazingly I have had to come home to my house without Michael for almost a year now, most nights by myself.  And incredibly I haven’t been scared at all.  God has just taken care of that fear for me.  How wonderful that He cares about even the smallest things – that this fifty-something, scaredy-cat girl would get creeped out in her own house was a priority for God to deal with.  He has given me a peace in my own home.  OK, I admit that the occasional bump or creek in the night gets my attention, but the anxiety is gone.  No more tears.

Movie quote:  Kevin McCallister:  No offense, aren’t you too old to be afraid?         Marley:  You can be too old for a lot of things, but you’re never too old to be afraid!

Well, I’ve made it three weeks living totally on my own.  I’ve noticed a few things.  Like there’s no one to blame when the toilet paper roll is empty.  On the other hand, the seat never gets left up either.

And there’s no one to hand you a towel when you’re dripping wet in the shower.  And I do wonder if I fell in the shower how long it would be before help would come.   But there’s no one to see you streak to the laundry room for clean clothes either. (Don’t judge me – you know you’ve done it too!)

And nobody cares if you have a second glass of wine in the evening.  For that matter, nobody even knows.

Movie quote:   Kevin McCallister:  Guys I’m eating junk and watching rubbish.  You better come out and stop me!

It can actually be nice to be in charge of your own time – when to wake up and when to go to bed.  (But my responsible self still sets the alarm for 6:30 every morning.)  What movies and TV shows to watch.  What to eat and when. You know – grown up decisions.

Thank you to so many friends who check on me regularly, especially when they think I’m home alone.

Sent from my iPad