It’s been seven months that Michael’s been gone. I still think about him everyday. He’s still the first thing I think about in the morning, the last thing I think about at night. He’s still in my thoughts a thousand times during the day. His clothes no longer hang in the closet, but his truck is still parked in the garage. His phone seldom rings, but he still receives mail regularly. Each day ticks by without him.
Wedding plans are in full swing at our house. Last week a precious young friend gave birth to a baby boy, beautiful and healthy. And just this weekend we learned that my our grandchild will also be a boy. Both babies will carry Michael’s name.
So it begins. This is the way it starts, I suppose. Somehow my focus is shifting from the months past to the months ahead. It’s hard not to look forward to the promise of babies and new futures ahead. It’s a welcome diversion to shop for white lace and blue booties. While I certainly want to forget the pain of grief I never want to forget the joy of our lives together. I want the fun and laughter to go into the next generation of family and friends.
I still don’t understand why Michael is gone while I am here. But I trust it to God. And for some reason He has chosen for it to be this way. So, for as long as He puts me here, I want to live each day to the fullest doing whatever He calls me to do in a way that will bring honor to Him. This is the bridge I choose to build between the past and the future God has given me.
Every day is a good day.